The Right Hook - 90's Suburbans and Hakeem Olajuwon

For the Houston Rockets in the '90's, Hakeem Olajuwon's right hook was championship material.



In the world of bicycling among motor vehicles, the right hook is dangerous, if not deadly. Unless, of course, you are pedaling in the UK or Japan, for example, then the danger is in the left hook.



Here is a video snippet from a recent commute:



Along this particular section of road, I am ascending a road that bridges I-494 northbound in Eden Prairie, and the right lane of the two-lane road splits into an on-ramp lane. I check over my shoulder, signal that I am continuing straight over the bridge, but this guy clearly can't wait for the red light or yield sign. Folks with the right-of-way are entering the on-ramp, and he stuffs his 90's pinstriped Suburban into their flow. At least the guy behind him, wearing a Livestrong bracelet, said, "that's unfortunate, sorry, man." Well said.

While this example is pretty benign, often times, when I'm not recording, I have to figure out how to reduce my velocity from 20 to 0 mph over a short distance to avoid being a hood ornament. I wouldn't mind being a hood ornament for a Bentley or Maserati, however. Those guys have insurance...

Wheelsuckers, How to Eliminate?

You know the type. Maybe you are the type. If so, I dislike you. I digress...pedaling my way home lately, at times a chump will do something lame like snake through the vehicles awaiting a green light, whilst I wait patiently in queue. After a block or two, I catch back up to the traffic-snaking chump and continue at my regular pace the rest of the way home. Right at the end of my commute is a short, but stiff climb, where the wheel suckers pop up their Meerkat heads, having sucked my wheel for the past 5 miles, and boldly exclaim, "thanks for the pull!" or "strong riding there."

 

Yeah, thanks. And that headwind? Pushed through it for you, you bet. Anything else I can get for you? Leg massage? Need my water bottle? Clif Bar? Can I make your car payment for you? Joke's on him, though, because I was extra gassy and I KNOW he was sucking wind to keep up, even in my draft.

Any tips out there for dealing with wheelsuckers? Four consecutive right-hand turns? Start talking Tea Party politics? Make blatantly racist comments? Brandish my firearm? I need ideas, because, clearly, my ideas are not healthy, and could get me into some trouble. 

We Cannot Get Out, They Are Coming!

Months have passed since my last entry. I fear that I have been left solitary in the desolation of the battlefield, absent human contact for as long as I can remember. The enemy continues closing in, relentlessly searching for its next victim; its icy, bony fingers constricting the trachea of this world. No one is safe. Nothing is safe. If you want to save our world, you must hurry. We don't know how much longer we can withstand the nothing.

I have developed methods to escape its frozen clutches and engage in stealthy combat, burying my skin beneath multiple layers of raiment. I believe that I am able to travel undetected for short periods of time. I must not remain exposed to this danger for long, as the all-searching eye will eventually detect my presence and reduce me to a hypothermic resemblance of the human form. My only hope is that my persistence will wear down my foe.

For five unbroken months, I have traveled along the East/West axis between my village and the commerce center. 11 miles I travel in each direction, at times with the wind as my ally, other times as my nemesis. Often, the clouds release their moisture in an attempt to reduce my ability to escape the Captain of Evil. I will not give in, however, I am afraid that I am losing the battle.

Bodies of water have developed a unique defense to the adversarial buffetings. Under constant attack, brave drops of the water tribes rush to the surface, sacrificing their ability to enjoy free motion. They attach with perfect rigidity to their fellow soldiers, creating an impermeable, thick skin of protection at the surface in order to protect their kinsfolk who lay quietly beneath. I am humbled by their selfless sacrifices.Their defenses seem to be holding.

But what is this? Who is this grand warrior, this luminescent orb shining from the heavens? Minions of the enemy's force flee before it. The blanched blanket of accumulated cloud droppings reduces form and flees into the underground rivers. The trees respond, attempting to bring forth blossoms, leaves, and life-giving sustenance. Humans, both young and old, exit their dwellings to witness the supposed victory. Smiles emerge upon their faces. But the enemy is strong. He whom I thought was our conqueror has, for unknown reasons, retreated. I fear he will not return. I fear I am slipping into madness. As I am huddled deep within the darkness of my protective abode, I can hear the sinister laugh of my enemy, relishing in his supposed victory. All hope seems to be lost.

It is as I feared. They have taken the bridge, and the second hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. The shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out, they are coming.

In spite of the loneliness that is inherent in my form of battle, I must continue. 

I share with you images from the wintry battlefield in hopes that you may be able to tell the story:

It's Cold in Minnesota - Super Cold

Today's morning wind chills were around -35F (-37C). Good garbage. Turns out I was overlayered on top, as evidenced by lots of sweat, and my feet were quite cold after the 11-mile, 50-minute commute. Here's what my face looked like at the bike rack at work:

And my cable lock, as I uncoiled it, snapped (well, the cable coating snapped).

Tomorrow should be "warmer," about -20F windchills on the way in...

Lake Minnetonka Fatbike Race - Arctic Cat

Freeze, thaw. Freeze super hard, thaw. Such has been the story of winter weather here in Minneapolis. Lakes in the region are well-frozen--able to withstand the weight of several SUVs, perforations surrounded by ambitious anglers, and bicycles. With the arctic weather freezing the lakes and semi-regular snowfall, lake riding is quite fun and manageable.

So went the plans for today's Fatbike race on Lake Minnetonka sponsored by Erik's Bike Shop and ExcelsiorBrewery. With warmer weather the past week (above freezing), most of the snow melted then refroze under the influence of arctic fronts, creating glare ice across the majority of the lake surface. A few patches of snow provided the only traction and reprieve from 40mph crosswinds. The weather made this ride a total disaster! Totally fun, nonetheless, but a disaster. Here are some pics of the start:

Bike parking at the registration site: Excelsior Brewery

Lake entry for a portion of the planned route (this part canceled)

Listening to instructions

Those with studded tires heading out first

Pedaling across the glare ice with 40mph crosswinds basically meant I was running/sliding across the ice in between snow patches. Not much pedaling. Below is some video (trimmed/raw audio) of the start and the yard sale once we hit the ice. Notice gems such as upended cyclists, cyclists afoot being driven back by the gusts, iceboating, and rapidly-fleeing debris in general as evidence of the incredible wind.

Once across the lake to Big Island, there was a fun, technical piece of singletrack. Here is some video (raw):

Overall the experience was stupid fun, especially since I only hit the ice once. I found myself following the instinctively-developed mantra, "I'm here to ride." The event organizers, Erik's and Excelsior Brewery, did a great job. They had the course well-marked, they had crews of volunteers, and provided pre and post-ride atmospheres worthy of the lunacy of a fatbike-on-a-frozen-lake type of crowd. Well done! Hoping for a couple inches of snow on the lake next year...

2012 Rapha Festive 500 Complete - Minneapolis, MN

With about 3 hours to spare, I completed the 2012 Rapha Festive 500 challenge in the SW suburbs of Minneapolis, MN. Below are some of the photo/video/fact highlights of this year's cold and difficult challenge:

My final GPS track, atop frozen Round Lake. I didn't quite get the typeface correct.

  Here is a video summary of video & still photo highlights:

 Weather Stats:

• Temperature range of 0-23F (-18 to -5C), much colder with windchills
  
• 2 days had fresh snow at departure, with additional snowfall while riding
• Heavy ice on road shoulders for all but 2-3 of 12 rides.

Bike/Equipment Stats:

• 310 miles (500km) solo
• 195 miles (315km) on Studded tires (Schwalbe Marathon Winter 35c) (Salsa Casseroll)
• 60 miles (97km) on 28c tires (Salsa Casseroll)
• 55 miles (88km) on the Salsa Mukluk Fatbike, including frozen lake riding
• Schmidt hub generator pushing Supernova front/rear lights & accessory charger
• 12 total rides to complete the challenge!

Thank you to Rapha, Strava, and my family and friends in the cycling community for the challenge and the support!

Rapha Festive 500 Ride 12 - Fatbike Cleanup

At last, with 300 miles (485km) logged since December 24th, one final ride was all that stood between me and completion of this year's Rapha Festive 500 challenge. With 6 laps plus a little adventure on frozen Round Lake, my mission would be complete. As for the "Achievements" section of the Strava link below, 500km in 8 days is a respectable achievement!


One last adventure before I'm all done, however...